Seasons change

In talking with my sister last night, she brought up a topic that really made me think. We have different seasons in our lives and each season brings new challenges and new joys. As children we worried about the bug crawling across the floor or our sister leaving us out of her game. As young adults (collage age) we worried about a test grade or why we didn't get invited to the party. As adults we worry about finances and our children becoming who we want them to become. Time is also an issue as we go through the seasons of life. As a child, it seems like there isn't enough time because we have to take naps and go to bed early. As young adults we don't have enough time to study and have fun, as adults we don't have enough time because of a number of things, our children being the biggest.
It got me thinking that we need to take time in each season to take care of ourselves and cherish ourselves so we can enjoy the season we are in. My mom told me once "the days are long but the years are short". She was referring to child rearing. As a mother of young children I wake up in the morning with my mind racing already of what needs to be done. I go go go all day even if I don't leave the house. At the end of the day my mind is racing still so I don't sleep. (Hence, me writing on my blog at 11:15pm). I used to wonder if anyone reads this besides my sister in law because she tells me she does. I guess i still wonder who reads it but really what I want to know is what you think about what I write.

I had a friend tell me recently that I was high strung. First of all, she is right. I am high strung. I fully admit it. I also know deep down in my heart, she meant nothing harmful by it at all. However it got me thinking what kind of person do others perceive me to be. No one ever tells you that your annoying or obnoxious for obvious reasons. Now I'm not saying that I think I'm either one but do you ever wonder what people really think of you? Do you care? In our society, women often care about this and men don't (at least that is what they tell me).

Back to my point...
Seasons.... Now that the seasons are changing into Fall, which i am thrilled about, I think I will re-evaluate the season I'm in. My child raising years. My mom told me once that not to worry about the dishwasher or the floor or the toilet but just to play with my kids. i am really going to try to do that more. I want my kids to have memories of their first season of life to be joyful and not challenging. I want to be what God wants me to be.... a good women, a good mother, a good wife, a good friend, a good person.

Summer Vacation

Growing up, we dreamed of summer vacation. "School's out for summer" we would shout around the halls of the school. Now, most parents dread summer vacation. 24/7 kids at home while they are at work. My parents were just as excited if not more for summer vacation. They were teachers. I was a little worried about summer vacation. I had grown accustomed to only have 2 little ones at home. My two quiet, calm little ones. Joining the group was big brother Erik. Full of energy, full of vinegar, full of wildness. Phil's answer was to "kick him outside". That would have been great except it rained for the first 2 weeks of summer vacation. VERY un-walla walla weather. Now it's been almost a month of summer vacation and we are getting sunshine (finally) and I have re-accumulated to having 3 at home full time. We have actually been quite busy. I took the 3 kids to Sandpoint for the 1st week so Phil could do some much needed overtime. It was nice but 3 kids in the car by myself wasn't so nice. Actually only one (Sarah) was the problem. I don't think I will be traveling with kids (without help) for awhile again. Sarah has never been a good traveler and I don't know why I thought she would start now. Caleb on the other had, did fantastic. Slept the entire way!
We have also done VBS! Vacation Bible school was fun, exhausting and worthwhile for all involved. Sarah & Caleb were doted on in the nursery, Erik was taught about his faith and played games with the 1st graders and I helped teach the 3rd-5th graders. I learned about some things about my faith that I didn't know. Amazing how God works!
Now I look toward the rest of summer and am excited. So many more adventures with the kids and family as a whole!
I will try to stay more updated with my posts. I figured most reading this blog know what is going on in my life anyway due to being family, friends and facebook! Ha ha, the 3 F's in my life!

Out numbered

Ok, it's been 1 month since Caleb Robert joined our family. I can't believe it's already been a month. Where did the time go? I was lucky enough to have my parents here for two weeks helping with Sarah and Erik and letting me get sleep. Now, 4 weeks after our little boy joined us, we are on our own and getting no sleep. Caleb doesn't sleep during the night and the others don't sleep during the day so that leaves me with no time for naps, not that I want to take them because then I can't seem to fall asleep at night for the short bursts that Caleb does sleep. I have discovered I can't eat dairy, at least I think that is what it is. I hope after a few more days he will start to get better. It hasn't even been a week and it could take as long as a month to get out of my system. Well duty calls. This was short and sweet but because of dairy (hopefully that is the reason) Caleb is yet again calling me.

all in DUE time.....

They say being patient is a virtue. I don't know who "They" are, but they are right, it's a virtue. A virtue I don't have. Anyone who knows me, knows I'm not patient. I don't like surprises, I can't keep a secret (about myself that is) and I don't like waiting. When I want something done, I want it done NOW! In the grand scheme of things, 9 months is not a very long time to wait for a baby. I mean come on, 9 months to go from a tiny little egg and sperm to a full fledged human being. That is a miracle, an amazing transformation. It's not until the end when we start getting impatient, at least I do. I haven't even reached my due date (3 days left) and I'm already obsessing on when I will go into labor. I've done this twice before and yet am a little worried about the birth. I am not worried that something will go wrong or that the baby will have special needs, I am worried about myself. Can I birth a baby? Will I stay relaxed? Seriously, what is wrong with me, I've done this TWICE without any medication. What am I worried about. Maybe it's knowing what's coming. Maybe not knowing is better than knowing. With this pregnancy, it's been a world wind. Being busy with two other kids (one in school and the other in diapers still) has kept me preoccupied so I haven't had to think about it. There were times I forgot I was pregnant until I looked in the mirror. I remember when I was pregnant with Sarah, I was freaked. I thought how am I going to handle two kids. Now I'm freaked about three kids. I was able to handle two kids just fine and will be able to handle three. Why am I freaked out. As I write this, I realize I'm all over the board with my thoughts. It's called being 9 months pregnant. My body isn't my own, why should my mind be my own. I get annoyed that people only see a pregnant women in front of them. "how are you doing? Are you ready? What do the kids think?" Is that all people think about when they see me? They don't think about Natalie, they think about pregnant mom. I know they are being supportive and encouraging and I do the same thing to my pregnant friends. I should enjoy it and treasure it instead of being repulsed by it and wanting to crawl into a cave until I go into labor. Part of me wants to hunker down for the week and wait it out by myself. I won't have those questions in my head constantly but then again, maybe I will but I will be the one asking them not my sweet hearted friends but my own brain is asking "how are you doing? are you ready? are the kids ready? is the house ready? is my body ready? Maybe it's better to be around other people so I have something else to think about besides what is about to come OUT of my body. I treasure my baby and I thank God He has given me another child to love, care for and nurture into an adult who could possibly change the world for the better. I'm just scared for that responsibility. I suppose God knows what he is doing. Thank you for taking the time to read my scatterbrained thoughts and if you are reading this, I appreciate you as a friend and do welcome the question "how are you doing?" I know it only means you care!

Appreciation

I listened to a friend vent today and then read her blog about the same vent and it made me think, Amen Sister!! She was referring to respect. In the last few days especially, we've been struggling with Erik and his respecting his parents choices. The words "You are being so mean" have come out of his precious mouth a lot lately. At first, it made my heart strings tug and want to curl up in a corner and cry and hold him telling him, momma will make it better. Then after the 45th time of his saying this is less than a week (not really but it sure seems like it) I got upset, not at him but myself. How could I have raised such a disrespectful child. Am I doing something wrong? Am I forgetting to address a problem? Do I not see what he really needs? Now a lot of changes are going on in our house, well actually just one big change. A whole other person is about to join us, for life. I realized tonight that I've been naive in expecting no change in behavior with Erik with a new baby on the horizon. I've been so concerned with how Sarah will be affected that I didn't stop to think about Erik. Sure he's been through this before but he's older, he knows more, he understands more. He truly understands that he will be the one who has to pick up the slack when I need something picked up, put away or Sarah played with. In all of my needing and expecting him to respect me, I need to turn the tables and respect him.
Right now that is difficult to do being 9 months pregnant and a husband working 12+ hour days this week. Which brings me to my title of tonight's post, appreciation. I appreciate my husband, kids and friends but mostly I appreciate the single parents out there. To not have the support both mentally and physically is unimaginable to me. I know we deal with what we have and work with it to the best of our ability but WOW, I am not one of those people who could do this on my own and I know a lot of single parents have some kind of support but it's usually not full time and it always comes at a cost whereas a husband or wife doesn't come strings attached (usually)!
For whoever reads this, I leave you with this thought appreciate your husband/ wife, kids, friends and anyone in your life who has a positive attitude despite their struggles.

Naptime & Number 3

Nap time is the best time of the day when you have little ones who take naps. It's a time of quiet, unwinding bliss. It is usually a time of getting the laundry done or dishes washed. I try to use the time of nap time or quiet time as we call it as a time to relax and do something for me. I watch TV, read a book or have a cup of tea. Today I took a nap. I was so exhausted from my little peanut growing inside me that I layed down to rest. An hour and a half later I woke up feeling rested but annoyed. I knew I would not be able to sleep tonight and now it's almost midnight and I am still awake. I figured I might as well catch up on my blog. It is still weird to me that you all read this even though I'm the same way about blogs. I have a few friends with blogs and I check them out religiously to see if they have made a new post.
Since my last post, I've been a little less freaked out about the joy coming to me in a little over 2 months. It boggles me that this pregnancy has gone by so fast but I guess I'm chasing after 2 others and have many other things on my plate. What will become of me with number 3. That is what I've been calling this one because I don't know the gender. I knew the gender of my first 2 babies before they were born. I've been told it's soooo much better this way but I'm not sure if I agree. With Erik and Sarah I had little people in me with personalities and a dream of what they would be like. I was told by a friend that I could just concentrate on the health of the baby this time and not what they will be like or how a girl/ boy will effect our family dynamics. It's funny because I never had those thoughts with Erik and Sarah but have them all the time with this one. I wonder how I will feel if a what comes out is not what I expected or desired. I honestly feel like no matter what comes out, I will be happy but there is a little inkling of "what if I'm disappointed", I ache knowing that I may feel like that. I chose not to find out the gender of the baby because of a number of reasons, Phil for one, also the excitement of not knowing (or so I thought).
I really have no idea the point to this post other than the get my feelings out to a world of unknown. When I write here, I feel like I'm getting my thoughts and feelings out in a real way but not to real people. I know real people read this but it doesn't feel as real as if I was talking to you in front of me. Don't get me wrong about this whole baby thing, I'm so excited to add another member to our family and am amazed daily by his/ her movements but and maybe it's the planner in me, I just want to know how to prepare my mind, body and house for this new member. When you bring a member of the family home, they should have a place to call home. Yes I will have an array of clothes and diapers but something just isn't the same.
Now it's officially midnight and I'm finally tired. So if you have words of wisdom to get through the next two months, I welcome them. If all your going to say is "oh you'll be fine". I already know that so thank you and I believe you! Have a blessed Christmas season and a Happy New year in case I don't get back til 2010!

90 days...OMG

Today I looked to see when I posted last. I was surprised it hadn't been since Erik's 1st day of school. Wow, I guess I'm a busy mom. Nothing significant has happended since then. Unless you count Erik losing 2 teeth. He is enjoying school and has really like staying all day the few days he stayed after lunch. Sarah is quite the talker. She shocks me daily with sentences that come out of her mouth. The biggest thing that shocked me when I looked at my own blog was the baby ticker... I have 90 DAYS until I have a new baby. I thought I was freaking out but now I'm really freaking out. That is only 3 months and my world will once again be turned upside down. I don't have much else to say this post. I plan on posting something on marriage and life but that will come when I have more time. Until then, pray for me, for my world will be turned upside down again in 90 DAYS!!

Life Changes.....

As I sit on my couch listening to quietness of my house, I think about so many people in my life whose houses are never quiet unless it's 10pm and everyone is sleeping. I once had a friend ask me "how do you make your kids take a nap". Well the answer is start young. Take Sarah for example, she already took a short nap today but I know she is still tired, so I put her in her crib and didn't give her an option to get out. You say "oh it's easy for one in a crib" but that is the trick, if you teach them when they are in the crib, they will listen when they are in a regular bed.

I labeled this post life changes because we are going through some biggies in our family this year. First, Erik started Kindergarten this Fall. We (and by we I mean I) wasn't sure if he was ready. He's considered young (because a lot of people start their boys at age 6) and he's immature (yes I fully admit it), but academically was on par with where he was suppose to be so we figured why not. He is enjoying Kindergarten even though he is having some emotional issues like not paying attention or not following directions but what 5 year old does. I've been stressing about it and all my friends and family tell me to relax, not to worry, he's got time. That is easy for them to say, they either have kindergateners who are ready or don't have any at all. I know they care about me and are just trying to help. I really should listen to them and I'm trying but it's hard.

The other big life change is that I'm pregnant. Most of you reading this probably already know that. I don't do well with change and now I'm going to have a 2 year old and an infant in a matter of months. What am I going to do???? Well I'm going to have a 2 year old and an infant is what! I will take each day one at a time and thankfully have a full set of friends within walking distance who are willing to drop what they are doing and help a neurotic freak like myself. How did I get so lucky to have such wonderful friends. I'm still trying to figure that out, but until I do I will just enjoy the richess of people who truely care about me. A friend asked me last night "is Sarah ready for the baby?" I didn't think she had a clue and still don't however I did get a little glimps into the future when someone else tried to sit in HER rocking chair. Oh man, she DID NOT like that, so it will be interesting to see how she reacts to all of this.

"God gives us what we can handle but I think he has me confused with someone else" ~ Mother Theresa of Calcutta

Kindergarten

Ok, I know I'm a little behind but I'm still getting used to Erik being in Kingergarten. In fact, I've had so much time on my hands in the morning that I don't know what to do with myself..... KIDDING. I have been very busy and I will post about Erik's first few weeks soon. Hopefully later tonight. Now I am still recovering from our camping trip last weekend so I will post soon. I promise!

Definition of Love

Today I heard a great definition of Love. It's the giving of one's self. Now I know your thinking, well duh but more than that the opposite of love is not hate. The opposite of love is using or taking for ones self. Today at church, our priest talked about the love of Christ and how He gave literally everything of himself for us. It made me think (which I'm sure was his intention) of what kind of love I give and what kind of love I use or take for myself. As human beings, I believe we take way more than we give. Yes, we give love our children, our husbands, our extended family and our friends but how much love to we use or take from them for ourselves. Do we delude ourselves into thinking we are truly giving our whole entire being. After all that is what God did for us, why can't we do the same. Is it because we are tired, bored, hungry, annoyed. Does it matter what are reasons are for taking love from others. We will slip many times, God knows this but all he asks is for us to love your neighbor like you love yourself. If we were to love the people in our lives first and ourselves second, we would be much better off. Yes, I know we all know this is the way to do it but like a question I posed to one of our priests the other day, HOW??? How do we give to others first.. well I would love to hear any suggestions, as for me, my daughter just woke up from her nap and we will be having lunch soon so I take the step I know and show love to my family by getting off the computer......

Accomplishing a skill...

It's amazing to watch my kids grow and develop. It's even more exciting to be excited about learning something new or accomplishing something that was hard. Swimming is one of those skills that will be required to learn in our house. So Erik started swimming lessons this week. His teacher is amazing. She can get him to do things he refuses for me. Oh well, at least he's learning. He will now stick his whole face under water. He's improved so much since last year already. I can't wait to see what he is doing at the end of the 4 weeks!!! Thank you Teacher Darcy!!

Mommy monster vs. Gentle Mother

As with most days of being a mom, today has been a bag full of mixed emotions and attitudes both from my children and myself. The day seemed to start off good but within a matter of hours, the mommy monster came out. Who knows what causes this personality to emerge, maybe lack of sleep, maybe all the traveling we've done, maybe I just don't know how to handle my emotions. Considering that multiple times a day, I tell Erik not to throw a fit, to relax, to calm down, to take a deep breathe..... do I take my own advice... no! And just as fast as the mommy monster came out, she left. Of course it took the funny comment from a 5 year old (not that he was trying to be funny). I had missed the turn to the swimming lessons and was irritated yet again (hence mommy monster still present) and Erik calming says while looking at his new com pas he got at Subway, "hey we are going East". Needless to say I could only laugh. He didn't care that I had missed the turn, he didn't care if we were late, he didn't care if the person in front of me was going slow, he only cared that we were going East (which we were)! Mommy monster gone and Gentle mother back in the drivers seat (literally).
The rest of the day was very relaxing and uncomplicated because the mommy monster was gone only to reappear sometime in the future unfortunately.
I started reading a book tonight called "Life on Planet Mom" it's from the mothers group I belong to, MOPS. MOPS books for me have been hit and miss. I've read 2 others, one a hit and one a miss so I thought I'll give this one a try. Within 15 minutes of starting it I felt the need to go snuggle with my children (yes they are both asleep). As I watched them squirm in my arms trying to get comfortable ( I know it's not as comfortable as their bed) I realized how much my life has changed in the last 5 years. First of all, I can't BELIEVE I have a 5 year old. It seemed like last week Phil and I were staring at Erik laying in our bed for the first time at 2 days old and now he is five! My baby girl is walking, talking and playing by herself instead of needing me every 2 seconds. (Yes, she still needs me every 5 seconds but still).
I wonder what I will be feeling when they are grown and having children of their own. Logically I know it will happen but I just can't imagine Erik making adult decisions. Heck I have a hard time that I am making them.
For all you mothers out there, I know you've all heard something similar to this one but we all need to memorize it and live it... your children are only small for a breathe, take in each one as deeply as you can and treasure it forever!

Denver Last Day

Last night was amazing. If you are ever in Denver, CO go to a place called Zango's. They have the most amazing food and atmosphere. Quite expensive but well worth it. Of course, the company was great also. We decided to stay an extra day in Denver so we could hang out with Phil's sister Rebecca and her husband a little more. Today was fun as well. We got to walk around downtown Denver and see some sites. The Brown Palace is so beautiful. It is a hotel in Denver built by Molly Brown from the Titanic. It looks just like the dining area on the Titanic. We had tea and desserts with the kids today. It was fun but a little too elegant for children (in my opinion).
We are, alas, heading home tomorrow. This has been a whirlwind week but a lot of fun. Seeing younger siblings getting married and a baby joining the church was amazing. So many wonderful blessings in our life. Sometimes I forget them and have to be reminded.

Denver Trip Day ???

Ok, I haven't blogged for a few days because it's been so busy. Let's see, Friday we visited New Belgium Brewing Company in Fort Collins, CO. They make our favorite beer 1554 and Fat Tire. It was neat. Small company that recycle a ton of stuff and use wind power to power the brewery. It's very small but interesting. Friday night consisted on the rehearsal dinner of Auth Chili Mac and salad with Grandma Auth's salad dressing. The two families mingled together (kinda). Saturday morning was very relaxing for me. I went to my sil's house to get ready for my other sil's wedding. We got pictures taken before the ceremony which I believe is really odd because you are not actually married in your wedding pictures but I guess that is the way most people do it these days. The rehearsal dinner was at Fr. Mike's house where it rained off and on (making the bride very happy, odd i know).
Ok, now today Sunday was the baptism of my God daughter Hannah Clair. We were more involved in the mass than I thought we would be but it was awesome. I got to hold her while she was being baptized. She was asleep when we started and promptly woke up when the Holy water was poured over her head. She didn't seem to mind.
Ok, the next couple of days will hopefully be a little more relaxing. I will probably blog more in a few days.

Denver Day 3

Wednesday June 17th
We traveled from Green River, UT to Denver CO. It took us 10 hours. Normally just driving should have taken about 6 hours. We stopped at Arches National Park for a few hours driving around and hiking a little. It was amazing. The rock formations are beautiful. Erik didn't like any of the hikes until the last one where he basically went rock climbing. I was a nervous Nelly watching him and Phil with Sarah on his back scaling rocks. It was a fun family experience. Then we got in the car and drove FOREVER. We had to deal with some "road construction" The reason I put it in quotes was because they were not actually doing construction just putting up cones to close a lane so we were driving about 10 mph for about 45 min. We finally got into Denver and to our rental house by 10pm. It felt good to sleep even though the kids woke up a few times in the night due to being in a strange place.

Today (Thursday) has been very relaxing so far. Today we will be starting the wedding stuff like bachlorette party and such. I am feeling a little under the weather due to lack of sleep but hopefully I will get better.
We are enjoying our trip so far... More pictures on facebook...

DENVER TRIP DAY 2

Ok, my plan was to blog a little each day but it didn't happen yesterday because we were so tired. Here's an update.
MONDAY
Left WW 8:30 am
Arrived Twin Falls, Idaho 5:30pm.
Visited Phil's grandparents, headed out to his parents and ate dinner.
Stayed up waaaay to late (2 am) visiting with Phil's family and proceeded not to sleep except for 4 hours.
TUESDAY
Left Twin around 9:30 and drove through Utah for 7 hours and ended up in Green River, UT. Stayed at Best Western with hot tub and pool. We are getting the kids to bed and going back to the hot tub. We will probably sleep very well tonight. I will try to blog more tomorrow when I'm not so tired..... hopefully that will come...

Face of betrayal by Lis Wihel

I love a good mystery. Especially the kind where you are totally shocked by "who done it". Face of betrayal is about a young girl's murder while on Christmas break. A group of women who call themselves the triple threat club investigate the murder of this young Senate page. 1) An FBI agent, 2) Reporter 3) Assistant district attorney. At first is started out slow but as I got to know these characters you realize how invested into their jobs they are. They want to make the world a better place. As they search for what is originally dubbed a runaway, they find clues to lead them down the path where they least expect. There are times where I couldn't put the book down because of what was going to happen next. Every chapter had another clue that lead you deeper and deeper into the minds of each women and using their specific talents, uncover the truth behind what happen to young Katie Converse. If you like mysteries, this is a must read. Every time you think you figured it out, another piece of the puzzle is revealed.


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Check out more information @ http://brb.thomasnelson.com/

ain't no princess

When I was pregnant with Sarah, I didn't like the idea of having a princess. I was very clear to everyone I wasn't going to have a prissy girl. My friends who already had girls said "ha you just wait". I didn't want clothing that said it, I didn't want frilly dresses etc..
Well that was then... this is now. I still don't want things that say princess on them but dresses are so darn cute. I like the idea of having a tomboy. Maybe because I was one. I loved dressing up and looking pretty but I was all about getting dirty and building forts in the back yard with leftover wood we found in the garage.
In the past week, we've had good weather so we've been working outside and in the garage (updating our travel trailer, THAT is for another post). On mothers day I decided to go out in the back yard and "pull a couple weeds" well I really go in to it and ended up spending 3 hours pulling weeds are making a plot for something (I still don't know yet). Phil was helping a friend of ours install underground sprinklers and he had Erik with him so Sarah and I were in the back yard. I put her in front of a pile of dirt and she played there for 2+ hours just sitting in the dirt and digging at 15 months old...that made mamma proud. Maybe she inherited the green thumb from grandma and great-grandpa since I certainly didn't.
Then... yesterday Phil had her in the garage. She walked over to a pile of sawdust and starting playing with that having a grand ol' time throwing up and having it land on her head.
All I can say is... you go girl!

For all those who don't sew....

Being a stay at home mom, I want to participate in many things my own mother did when I was a child. I guess I feel since my mom did it, I should as well. Basic things like coloring, play dough, building blocks and so on are pretty easy. Baking cookies, home cooked meals seem to be easy as well. Sewing however is one of those tasks that I feel I "should" be able to do as a mom I just can't. Believe me I've tried. I don't have the patience. Now instead of working through the frustration and developing patience I decided sewing wasn't one of those things I needed to force myself to do. After all, back in the day (30+ years ago) sewing was more cost effective than it is now. With all the ___-mart stores, thrift stores and consignment stores it's less expensive to buy clothes than to make them. However beyond clothes sewing is good for a lot of other things.
That being said, I recently saw a clip from Martha Stewart.com on no-sew bags. It intriqued me because I love bags and you could never have too many bags with children. The main "ingredients" were duct tape and staples. Oh this was even more intriquing. It was so easy and so fun. It gave me the confidence to do something with fabric. I love the idea of sewing and creating. So this way I can create something useful and pretty. So if anyone would like me to create a duct tape bag for you I would be honored to create one for you. It's not cost effective because of the cost of fabric but it only requires about 1/2 yard of fabric so if you get it on sale then hey... cheap bag, pretty bag!