Wednesday, March 11, 2009

No mom.... I want to go in by myself...

this is what I heard out of my almost 5 year old today at pre-school. A few short months ago her begged me to walk him all the way to the door and now he is telling me to let him go. I believe God is preparing me to send him off to kindergarten next year. Last night when I couldn't sleep I felt the need to go see Erik sleeping. He was thrashing around in his bed which usually means he has to go to the bathroom. I sent him and when he came back I laid down with him for a few minutes. A memory of 5 years ago came to me. It was our first night home with Erik back in our old apartment. Phil and I were laying on the bed with Erik between us. We were so amazed by this little person that was created in my womb and now was a reality. Everyone tells you that "the days are long and the years are short". I realize I'm still in the beginning of those "years" but it's also already been a few years since that night when I was amazed at this little thing laying next to me on the bed. Now I look at him in amazement still and think what will happen in the future.
It's hard as a mom to have others judge your children. I always thought I'd be the one saying "no he needs more time or no he's not big enough for that yet" but when it comes from someone else... someone who doesn't really KNOW your child, someone who sees him a few hours a week it is almost like a drop kick into your gut. You are blown away to know that your child is not on par in some areas with other children his age or even younger. My first reaction was WHAT, you are crazy and then you start thinking that maybe they are right. I had a couple of people tell me to follow my gut. A mothers gut is an amazing thing. It tells you when your child is hurt, it tells you what to do in any situation and it never steers you wrong. Now that's not to say you may interpret that wrong because you want something that really shouldn't happen but my belief is if it's meant to happen than it will happen no matter what you do.
If you have children or grandchildren, cherish them because before you know it they will be grown and you will only have pictures and video's of them when they were at the innocence age!