Naptime & Number 3

Nap time is the best time of the day when you have little ones who take naps. It's a time of quiet, unwinding bliss. It is usually a time of getting the laundry done or dishes washed. I try to use the time of nap time or quiet time as we call it as a time to relax and do something for me. I watch TV, read a book or have a cup of tea. Today I took a nap. I was so exhausted from my little peanut growing inside me that I layed down to rest. An hour and a half later I woke up feeling rested but annoyed. I knew I would not be able to sleep tonight and now it's almost midnight and I am still awake. I figured I might as well catch up on my blog. It is still weird to me that you all read this even though I'm the same way about blogs. I have a few friends with blogs and I check them out religiously to see if they have made a new post.
Since my last post, I've been a little less freaked out about the joy coming to me in a little over 2 months. It boggles me that this pregnancy has gone by so fast but I guess I'm chasing after 2 others and have many other things on my plate. What will become of me with number 3. That is what I've been calling this one because I don't know the gender. I knew the gender of my first 2 babies before they were born. I've been told it's soooo much better this way but I'm not sure if I agree. With Erik and Sarah I had little people in me with personalities and a dream of what they would be like. I was told by a friend that I could just concentrate on the health of the baby this time and not what they will be like or how a girl/ boy will effect our family dynamics. It's funny because I never had those thoughts with Erik and Sarah but have them all the time with this one. I wonder how I will feel if a what comes out is not what I expected or desired. I honestly feel like no matter what comes out, I will be happy but there is a little inkling of "what if I'm disappointed", I ache knowing that I may feel like that. I chose not to find out the gender of the baby because of a number of reasons, Phil for one, also the excitement of not knowing (or so I thought).
I really have no idea the point to this post other than the get my feelings out to a world of unknown. When I write here, I feel like I'm getting my thoughts and feelings out in a real way but not to real people. I know real people read this but it doesn't feel as real as if I was talking to you in front of me. Don't get me wrong about this whole baby thing, I'm so excited to add another member to our family and am amazed daily by his/ her movements but and maybe it's the planner in me, I just want to know how to prepare my mind, body and house for this new member. When you bring a member of the family home, they should have a place to call home. Yes I will have an array of clothes and diapers but something just isn't the same.
Now it's officially midnight and I'm finally tired. So if you have words of wisdom to get through the next two months, I welcome them. If all your going to say is "oh you'll be fine". I already know that so thank you and I believe you! Have a blessed Christmas season and a Happy New year in case I don't get back til 2010!

90 days...OMG

Today I looked to see when I posted last. I was surprised it hadn't been since Erik's 1st day of school. Wow, I guess I'm a busy mom. Nothing significant has happended since then. Unless you count Erik losing 2 teeth. He is enjoying school and has really like staying all day the few days he stayed after lunch. Sarah is quite the talker. She shocks me daily with sentences that come out of her mouth. The biggest thing that shocked me when I looked at my own blog was the baby ticker... I have 90 DAYS until I have a new baby. I thought I was freaking out but now I'm really freaking out. That is only 3 months and my world will once again be turned upside down. I don't have much else to say this post. I plan on posting something on marriage and life but that will come when I have more time. Until then, pray for me, for my world will be turned upside down again in 90 DAYS!!

Life Changes.....

As I sit on my couch listening to quietness of my house, I think about so many people in my life whose houses are never quiet unless it's 10pm and everyone is sleeping. I once had a friend ask me "how do you make your kids take a nap". Well the answer is start young. Take Sarah for example, she already took a short nap today but I know she is still tired, so I put her in her crib and didn't give her an option to get out. You say "oh it's easy for one in a crib" but that is the trick, if you teach them when they are in the crib, they will listen when they are in a regular bed.

I labeled this post life changes because we are going through some biggies in our family this year. First, Erik started Kindergarten this Fall. We (and by we I mean I) wasn't sure if he was ready. He's considered young (because a lot of people start their boys at age 6) and he's immature (yes I fully admit it), but academically was on par with where he was suppose to be so we figured why not. He is enjoying Kindergarten even though he is having some emotional issues like not paying attention or not following directions but what 5 year old does. I've been stressing about it and all my friends and family tell me to relax, not to worry, he's got time. That is easy for them to say, they either have kindergateners who are ready or don't have any at all. I know they care about me and are just trying to help. I really should listen to them and I'm trying but it's hard.

The other big life change is that I'm pregnant. Most of you reading this probably already know that. I don't do well with change and now I'm going to have a 2 year old and an infant in a matter of months. What am I going to do???? Well I'm going to have a 2 year old and an infant is what! I will take each day one at a time and thankfully have a full set of friends within walking distance who are willing to drop what they are doing and help a neurotic freak like myself. How did I get so lucky to have such wonderful friends. I'm still trying to figure that out, but until I do I will just enjoy the richess of people who truely care about me. A friend asked me last night "is Sarah ready for the baby?" I didn't think she had a clue and still don't however I did get a little glimps into the future when someone else tried to sit in HER rocking chair. Oh man, she DID NOT like that, so it will be interesting to see how she reacts to all of this.

"God gives us what we can handle but I think he has me confused with someone else" ~ Mother Theresa of Calcutta

Kindergarten

Ok, I know I'm a little behind but I'm still getting used to Erik being in Kingergarten. In fact, I've had so much time on my hands in the morning that I don't know what to do with myself..... KIDDING. I have been very busy and I will post about Erik's first few weeks soon. Hopefully later tonight. Now I am still recovering from our camping trip last weekend so I will post soon. I promise!

Definition of Love

Today I heard a great definition of Love. It's the giving of one's self. Now I know your thinking, well duh but more than that the opposite of love is not hate. The opposite of love is using or taking for ones self. Today at church, our priest talked about the love of Christ and how He gave literally everything of himself for us. It made me think (which I'm sure was his intention) of what kind of love I give and what kind of love I use or take for myself. As human beings, I believe we take way more than we give. Yes, we give love our children, our husbands, our extended family and our friends but how much love to we use or take from them for ourselves. Do we delude ourselves into thinking we are truly giving our whole entire being. After all that is what God did for us, why can't we do the same. Is it because we are tired, bored, hungry, annoyed. Does it matter what are reasons are for taking love from others. We will slip many times, God knows this but all he asks is for us to love your neighbor like you love yourself. If we were to love the people in our lives first and ourselves second, we would be much better off. Yes, I know we all know this is the way to do it but like a question I posed to one of our priests the other day, HOW??? How do we give to others first.. well I would love to hear any suggestions, as for me, my daughter just woke up from her nap and we will be having lunch soon so I take the step I know and show love to my family by getting off the computer......

Accomplishing a skill...

It's amazing to watch my kids grow and develop. It's even more exciting to be excited about learning something new or accomplishing something that was hard. Swimming is one of those skills that will be required to learn in our house. So Erik started swimming lessons this week. His teacher is amazing. She can get him to do things he refuses for me. Oh well, at least he's learning. He will now stick his whole face under water. He's improved so much since last year already. I can't wait to see what he is doing at the end of the 4 weeks!!! Thank you Teacher Darcy!!

Mommy monster vs. Gentle Mother

As with most days of being a mom, today has been a bag full of mixed emotions and attitudes both from my children and myself. The day seemed to start off good but within a matter of hours, the mommy monster came out. Who knows what causes this personality to emerge, maybe lack of sleep, maybe all the traveling we've done, maybe I just don't know how to handle my emotions. Considering that multiple times a day, I tell Erik not to throw a fit, to relax, to calm down, to take a deep breathe..... do I take my own advice... no! And just as fast as the mommy monster came out, she left. Of course it took the funny comment from a 5 year old (not that he was trying to be funny). I had missed the turn to the swimming lessons and was irritated yet again (hence mommy monster still present) and Erik calming says while looking at his new com pas he got at Subway, "hey we are going East". Needless to say I could only laugh. He didn't care that I had missed the turn, he didn't care if we were late, he didn't care if the person in front of me was going slow, he only cared that we were going East (which we were)! Mommy monster gone and Gentle mother back in the drivers seat (literally).
The rest of the day was very relaxing and uncomplicated because the mommy monster was gone only to reappear sometime in the future unfortunately.
I started reading a book tonight called "Life on Planet Mom" it's from the mothers group I belong to, MOPS. MOPS books for me have been hit and miss. I've read 2 others, one a hit and one a miss so I thought I'll give this one a try. Within 15 minutes of starting it I felt the need to go snuggle with my children (yes they are both asleep). As I watched them squirm in my arms trying to get comfortable ( I know it's not as comfortable as their bed) I realized how much my life has changed in the last 5 years. First of all, I can't BELIEVE I have a 5 year old. It seemed like last week Phil and I were staring at Erik laying in our bed for the first time at 2 days old and now he is five! My baby girl is walking, talking and playing by herself instead of needing me every 2 seconds. (Yes, she still needs me every 5 seconds but still).
I wonder what I will be feeling when they are grown and having children of their own. Logically I know it will happen but I just can't imagine Erik making adult decisions. Heck I have a hard time that I am making them.
For all you mothers out there, I know you've all heard something similar to this one but we all need to memorize it and live it... your children are only small for a breathe, take in each one as deeply as you can and treasure it forever!

Denver Last Day

Last night was amazing. If you are ever in Denver, CO go to a place called Zango's. They have the most amazing food and atmosphere. Quite expensive but well worth it. Of course, the company was great also. We decided to stay an extra day in Denver so we could hang out with Phil's sister Rebecca and her husband a little more. Today was fun as well. We got to walk around downtown Denver and see some sites. The Brown Palace is so beautiful. It is a hotel in Denver built by Molly Brown from the Titanic. It looks just like the dining area on the Titanic. We had tea and desserts with the kids today. It was fun but a little too elegant for children (in my opinion).
We are, alas, heading home tomorrow. This has been a whirlwind week but a lot of fun. Seeing younger siblings getting married and a baby joining the church was amazing. So many wonderful blessings in our life. Sometimes I forget them and have to be reminded.

Denver Trip Day ???

Ok, I haven't blogged for a few days because it's been so busy. Let's see, Friday we visited New Belgium Brewing Company in Fort Collins, CO. They make our favorite beer 1554 and Fat Tire. It was neat. Small company that recycle a ton of stuff and use wind power to power the brewery. It's very small but interesting. Friday night consisted on the rehearsal dinner of Auth Chili Mac and salad with Grandma Auth's salad dressing. The two families mingled together (kinda). Saturday morning was very relaxing for me. I went to my sil's house to get ready for my other sil's wedding. We got pictures taken before the ceremony which I believe is really odd because you are not actually married in your wedding pictures but I guess that is the way most people do it these days. The rehearsal dinner was at Fr. Mike's house where it rained off and on (making the bride very happy, odd i know).
Ok, now today Sunday was the baptism of my God daughter Hannah Clair. We were more involved in the mass than I thought we would be but it was awesome. I got to hold her while she was being baptized. She was asleep when we started and promptly woke up when the Holy water was poured over her head. She didn't seem to mind.
Ok, the next couple of days will hopefully be a little more relaxing. I will probably blog more in a few days.

Denver Day 3

Wednesday June 17th
We traveled from Green River, UT to Denver CO. It took us 10 hours. Normally just driving should have taken about 6 hours. We stopped at Arches National Park for a few hours driving around and hiking a little. It was amazing. The rock formations are beautiful. Erik didn't like any of the hikes until the last one where he basically went rock climbing. I was a nervous Nelly watching him and Phil with Sarah on his back scaling rocks. It was a fun family experience. Then we got in the car and drove FOREVER. We had to deal with some "road construction" The reason I put it in quotes was because they were not actually doing construction just putting up cones to close a lane so we were driving about 10 mph for about 45 min. We finally got into Denver and to our rental house by 10pm. It felt good to sleep even though the kids woke up a few times in the night due to being in a strange place.

Today (Thursday) has been very relaxing so far. Today we will be starting the wedding stuff like bachlorette party and such. I am feeling a little under the weather due to lack of sleep but hopefully I will get better.
We are enjoying our trip so far... More pictures on facebook...

DENVER TRIP DAY 2

Ok, my plan was to blog a little each day but it didn't happen yesterday because we were so tired. Here's an update.
MONDAY
Left WW 8:30 am
Arrived Twin Falls, Idaho 5:30pm.
Visited Phil's grandparents, headed out to his parents and ate dinner.
Stayed up waaaay to late (2 am) visiting with Phil's family and proceeded not to sleep except for 4 hours.
TUESDAY
Left Twin around 9:30 and drove through Utah for 7 hours and ended up in Green River, UT. Stayed at Best Western with hot tub and pool. We are getting the kids to bed and going back to the hot tub. We will probably sleep very well tonight. I will try to blog more tomorrow when I'm not so tired..... hopefully that will come...

Face of betrayal by Lis Wihel

I love a good mystery. Especially the kind where you are totally shocked by "who done it". Face of betrayal is about a young girl's murder while on Christmas break. A group of women who call themselves the triple threat club investigate the murder of this young Senate page. 1) An FBI agent, 2) Reporter 3) Assistant district attorney. At first is started out slow but as I got to know these characters you realize how invested into their jobs they are. They want to make the world a better place. As they search for what is originally dubbed a runaway, they find clues to lead them down the path where they least expect. There are times where I couldn't put the book down because of what was going to happen next. Every chapter had another clue that lead you deeper and deeper into the minds of each women and using their specific talents, uncover the truth behind what happen to young Katie Converse. If you like mysteries, this is a must read. Every time you think you figured it out, another piece of the puzzle is revealed.


I am a part of Thomas Nelson’s Book Review Blogger program.
Check out more information @ http://brb.thomasnelson.com/

ain't no princess

When I was pregnant with Sarah, I didn't like the idea of having a princess. I was very clear to everyone I wasn't going to have a prissy girl. My friends who already had girls said "ha you just wait". I didn't want clothing that said it, I didn't want frilly dresses etc..
Well that was then... this is now. I still don't want things that say princess on them but dresses are so darn cute. I like the idea of having a tomboy. Maybe because I was one. I loved dressing up and looking pretty but I was all about getting dirty and building forts in the back yard with leftover wood we found in the garage.
In the past week, we've had good weather so we've been working outside and in the garage (updating our travel trailer, THAT is for another post). On mothers day I decided to go out in the back yard and "pull a couple weeds" well I really go in to it and ended up spending 3 hours pulling weeds are making a plot for something (I still don't know yet). Phil was helping a friend of ours install underground sprinklers and he had Erik with him so Sarah and I were in the back yard. I put her in front of a pile of dirt and she played there for 2+ hours just sitting in the dirt and digging at 15 months old...that made mamma proud. Maybe she inherited the green thumb from grandma and great-grandpa since I certainly didn't.
Then... yesterday Phil had her in the garage. She walked over to a pile of sawdust and starting playing with that having a grand ol' time throwing up and having it land on her head.
All I can say is... you go girl!

For all those who don't sew....

Being a stay at home mom, I want to participate in many things my own mother did when I was a child. I guess I feel since my mom did it, I should as well. Basic things like coloring, play dough, building blocks and so on are pretty easy. Baking cookies, home cooked meals seem to be easy as well. Sewing however is one of those tasks that I feel I "should" be able to do as a mom I just can't. Believe me I've tried. I don't have the patience. Now instead of working through the frustration and developing patience I decided sewing wasn't one of those things I needed to force myself to do. After all, back in the day (30+ years ago) sewing was more cost effective than it is now. With all the ___-mart stores, thrift stores and consignment stores it's less expensive to buy clothes than to make them. However beyond clothes sewing is good for a lot of other things.
That being said, I recently saw a clip from Martha Stewart.com on no-sew bags. It intriqued me because I love bags and you could never have too many bags with children. The main "ingredients" were duct tape and staples. Oh this was even more intriquing. It was so easy and so fun. It gave me the confidence to do something with fabric. I love the idea of sewing and creating. So this way I can create something useful and pretty. So if anyone would like me to create a duct tape bag for you I would be honored to create one for you. It's not cost effective because of the cost of fabric but it only requires about 1/2 yard of fabric so if you get it on sale then hey... cheap bag, pretty bag!

My latest obsession

I accept that I have slight tendencies toward OCD. It's a gift and a curse. The gift aspect is that I'm very organized and am a good team worker. The curse is that when I become obsessed with something I tune out the rest of the world...my kids....my husband....my life. My lastest obsession is MOPS. I belong to a group called Mothers of Preschoolers. It's a wonderful group and I have met amazing women through this group. Next year I will be on the leadership team, which is called steering. I'm so excited. However my OCD is kickin' in. It's not even May and I've already made a schedule for what crafts we are going to do. (Yes I'm the creative coordinator).

The gift of this particular obsession is I'm learning to trust in people other than myself.

I've always been told that my "friends" are people I can turn to in times of crisis but I never really believed it. Logically if these people say they would be there in times of need, they will right? Well until recently (last 3 years I would say) I've never really trusted that virtue in the people around me. I guess it's because I've never had a good self-esteem. Growing up I never felt like I was "good enough". In retrospect what the people in my life that were making me feel like that were trying to push me and make me do my best. As a child I just never felt that because as a child you don't have that kind of maturity.

So getting back to trusting others. I'm at a place in my life that I have people I trust my friendship heart with. I believe MOPS helped me with this. Now I'm back on steering and ready to plow forward with 100% of my being. The curse however is I'm staying up until all hours of the night trying to figure out a craft to do (even though I already have them all planned out). I guess I feel that even though I have it "set in stone" I can do better! I can find a better craft, a cheaper craft, a more inpiring craft.... it's all that pushing my parents did to do my best and not accept second place (even though THAT IS GOOD ENOUGH)

Motherhood....

This is a job for mommy... Both kids crying.... Erik fell and hurt himself and screamed at the top of his lungs which sent his sister into hysteria because she was so scared.

Not being Thankful!

Today we had some time to kill before going out to lunch with Phil today so we went over to St. Vincents. Erik loves playing with the toys and I like looking at what people have given away wondering what kind of story there is behind why something is at St. Vincents. Today the only thing I found worth anything was a small plastic case for Erik to put art supplies in. It was only $1. We get up to the counter and I realize I don't have any cash so I'm going to put it back. The cashier was nice enough to contribute .50 to match my .50 I had in my wallet. I was amazed that this woman took money out of her own purse to give so I could come home with a measly little art case. I say thank you and head out. On our way out Erik brings out the big lip because he "didn't get a toy". Like the child doesn't have enough toys at home anyway. I have a little talk about being thankful and he soon changes his mind that the art supply case is acceptable. It got me thinking about thankfulness and how he must not know what thankfulness is, have I not shown him how to be thankful. We always tell our kids "what do you say" when they are suppose to say those magic words "thank-you" but do we teach our children what thankfulness is. I'm sure most of us think we do, but I believe the best way to teach them is to show that we are thankful for what we have in our life instead of taking everything for granted. So my point is, I AM THANKFUL.....

for my life

for my family

for my friends

for my church

for my moms groups (MOMs and MOPS)

for my health

for my country

for my freedom

for my personal effects

I may not show it but I AM THANKFUL. If you are reading this post I AM THANKFUL for you being in my life. I may not be good at showing it and please call me on it if you are feeling under appreciated. I am oblivious to so many things in my life, I may not realize someone needs me until they say "I need you", know that I need you too and whatever I can do to show my thankfulness, please let me know. I want to raise my children to be thankful for everything in their life, not just the fun stuff. I am told that if you are were not shown something (like love) by your parents, then you don't know how to do that. I slightly agree but I think it's more laziness on your part to not be a better person than your parents. We all want to make it better for our children. Our parents wanted a better life for their children and so on... so let's make it a better place. We can start by showing thankfulness. This does not mean, I believe no one shows me thankfulness, all I'm saying is I need to show my thankfulness more.

We are getting ready to celebrate the biggest sacrifice of history. Jesus dying on the cross. Let's remember what He sacrificed for us and maybe showing thankfulness won't be so hard.

So as we enter in the Easter season, let me end my saying Thank-You to all of you in my life who have made me a better person and I hope to return the favor someday by being that great friend that you've been to me. God Bless you all and Happy Easter!

No mom.... I want to go in by myself...

this is what I heard out of my almost 5 year old today at pre-school. A few short months ago her begged me to walk him all the way to the door and now he is telling me to let him go. I believe God is preparing me to send him off to kindergarten next year. Last night when I couldn't sleep I felt the need to go see Erik sleeping. He was thrashing around in his bed which usually means he has to go to the bathroom. I sent him and when he came back I laid down with him for a few minutes. A memory of 5 years ago came to me. It was our first night home with Erik back in our old apartment. Phil and I were laying on the bed with Erik between us. We were so amazed by this little person that was created in my womb and now was a reality. Everyone tells you that "the days are long and the years are short". I realize I'm still in the beginning of those "years" but it's also already been a few years since that night when I was amazed at this little thing laying next to me on the bed. Now I look at him in amazement still and think what will happen in the future.
It's hard as a mom to have others judge your children. I always thought I'd be the one saying "no he needs more time or no he's not big enough for that yet" but when it comes from someone else... someone who doesn't really KNOW your child, someone who sees him a few hours a week it is almost like a drop kick into your gut. You are blown away to know that your child is not on par in some areas with other children his age or even younger. My first reaction was WHAT, you are crazy and then you start thinking that maybe they are right. I had a couple of people tell me to follow my gut. A mothers gut is an amazing thing. It tells you when your child is hurt, it tells you what to do in any situation and it never steers you wrong. Now that's not to say you may interpret that wrong because you want something that really shouldn't happen but my belief is if it's meant to happen than it will happen no matter what you do.
If you have children or grandchildren, cherish them because before you know it they will be grown and you will only have pictures and video's of them when they were at the innocence age!

Respect life...it's so fragile

I really don't understand people who are pro-choice. I know many of you out there reading this may be pro-choice but I don't understand how anyone could think that a baby is not worth keeping no matter what the situation. I recently had a niece born via emergency c-section because her heart rate skyrocketed and they didn't know why. It was a very traumatic experience for her parents and the rest of the family. Now that I have seen pictures of her and as I look at my own children (Sarah who is trying to type on the computer) I can't imagine life without children. I know I've never been in a situation where I was pregnant when I didn't want to be because guess what THEY KNOW WHAT CAUSES IT and how to prevent it. Now I'm not going to go into how to prevent babies because that I do believe is your own personal choice. However, once God has planted the seed so to speak, I believe it is your responsibility to nurture and grow that seed. You chose to take the steps to have the seed, so be an adult and take care of what God has entrusted to you. This doesn't mean you have to keep and raise this child. If you are not financially, emotionally or mature enough to raise the child, trust me there are many many people out there who are. Playing God by deciding who lives and who dies is not a human choice.
Where is this coming from, who knows. It's not like I just had someone tell me they got an abortion. Maybe because I saw what my brother and sister in law went through with their new daughter. I've had discussions with pro-choice people and their logic just doesn't make sense to me. Now I say pro-choice not pro-abortion because I don't like that word. 90% of pro-choice people are not pro-abortion. The only people in the world that are pro-abortion are those who perform them or those who have them. Just because someone believes it's your choice to have an abortion doesn't mean they think it's a good thing, now that being said it also doesn't mean they respect life because if they did it would mean they would do everything in their power to prevent people from doing it.
Like I said, I don't know where this is coming from but I guess because I look and my children, my nieces and nephews and wonder how anyone could not want to respect life.

Happy Birthday Sarah

February 18, 2008 started out very early. Around 3 am I woke up with contractions. I wasn't sure if they were real ones so I started timing them and sure enough they were regular, still very far apart but regular none the less. I tried to go back to sleep and it worked until around 6am. I woke my mom up (who had been here for 9 days waiting for our little lady) and told her today was the day. I wanted to labor at home, however with a 4 year old jumping on me and my dad asking "what is a contraction like?" in the middle of my contractions, when I thought my water had broken, I headed to the hospital. When I got there, I was lucky to get the best room on the floor with my own Jacuzzi tub. My water had not broken but I decided to stay because it was very peaceful. That was around 9am. By noon the doctor (on-call because mine was on vacation) came in and asked if I wanted my water broken, I said no because I wanted to go as natural as possible. By 3:30 the nurse checked me and my water still had not broken but she was coming regardless. The doc came in and asked me again, I said YES! After two pushes she was out. I got to pull her out and on to my chest. It was the most blessed moment of my life. Except for the fact that they took her way rather quickly. I was upset to say the least but then I realized she wasn't breathing so after a full minute of no noise (except me saying why isn't she crying) she made a noise. Everything was ok!

February 18, 2009-The day started out with Phil going to work at 6:30 because he had been awake since 2:30 am so decided to go to work early. I got the kids up, made them breakfast and got Erik off to preschool. On Wednesdays I walk with my friend Claire. I realized halfway through our walk it was Sarah's birthday. Shows you what kind of a mother I am. That is ok, we had a big bash for her on Valentines day with tons of family and friends. I will get pictures up on my facebook page and blog soon. My mom took the pictures and we coudn't download them off her camera so I will be bugging her daily for a cd before she heads off to Hawaii for 3 weeks.

I am starting to feel like a grownup. I have two kids, a house and a life outside my own. I am getting ready to send Erik to Kindergarten next year. It's weird to imagine what life will be like with Erik gone EVERY morning. My life seems to be flying by at mock speed. I don't know how to slow it down or even if I want to. I look at what others do with their lives and wonder how they do it and stay sain. I have friends with gardens, animals (besides their children), homeschooling, being on comitees and so many of them make everything from scratch and have fancy dinners. Also a lot of them have husbands that work through the dinner hour (I'm finding that I'm in the minority of wives with a husband that actually is at the dinner table every night).
I realize I need to count my blessings instead of my trials!
Enough for tonight! I am trying to update more often but it's hard sometimes. I read everyone's blog but don't have time for my own. Interesting....

computers and moms

It amazes me how we as moms have some much time to be on the computers. Sometimes I feel like I ignore my children to be on the computer. Why is that, sanity, obsession or just plain laziness. Maybe because as moms we can multi-task. I once heard on the radio how men have to turn off the tv, tell everyone to be quiet and take a breath before answering the phone. However, women will be cooking a meal, have a baby on her hip and have a children's book on CD playing in the other room (loudly) and pick up a ringing phone without even a moment of pause. I believe computers save us from killing our children on most days or at least walking out of the house and screaming to the neighborhood. We connect with other moms and for a brief moment, we feel like we are something else other than just a mom.
If I could go one day without hearing "mommy come see this" I would be a more sain woman. Erik says this to me daily and ussually multiple times a day. When I ask him to tell me, he says "Can you just come see this" and if I don't jump up from whatever I'm doing (blogging, facebooking, emailing) and run down the hall, I'm reminded again... moooooommmm pleeeese come see this. All I can say is thank God for computers or at least blogs and facebook. Without theme, us moms wouldn't know what kind of outlet to have to release our frustrations (yes, Erik just threw a toy across the living room). All I can say is I appreciate all you in cyberspace who I can vent to and who understands my daily life.

New year, new plans, new ideas....

It seems like January 1st is the day everyone wants to start over. "Oh this year I'll do such and such" or "I'm going to loose X about of pounds. Why do we need a starting date? Why can't we just do what we want to do that day, be it January 1st or April 4 or November 17? I'm one that feels like it's good to start at the beginning of the year.
I hate resolutions. Nobody every actually keeps them unless they are so ridiculously easy which means, they shouldn't be resolutions in the first place. I have goals instead and each goal has different steps. I start out slow and pick up speed as I go (just like with any race you want to win, yes I was a runner... was being the key word) Anyway, my goals this year are to feel better! No, I'm not feeling particularly bad but I want to feel better. You can always feel better no matter where you are in life. If there is no way to feel better then you are in Heaven and not on the planet Earth because like I said, you can always feel better.
So far in 2009 I am doing a pretty good job. We are taking a serious look at our finances which is hard to work on but like Phil said "We were bad and need to take a time out". Due to our inability to save and wait to do projects or buy fun toys, we are not where we want to be financially so enough real personal stuff.
Goals for 2009: Feel better... financially, spiritually, physically and mentally. How do I do that you ask, well here goes:
Financially we've put ourselves on a fairly strict budget that we are working hard to stay on. It may take a few months but that is OK, (start slow).
Spiritually: I attend a few moms groups that are christian based and I am getting more involved in my church.
Physically: Almost harder than financial goals, I have a treadmill that I will be using soon... check back on that with me in a few weeks.
Mentally: I'm going to take one step at a time and if I don't get something done in the time I thought I could, oh well. Just keep chugging away. My new motto for the year "I think I can, I think I can. So far so good.
So to you my friends and family who care enough to read my blog, please call me on this goals. Check up on me and see how I'm doing because the best way to reach my goals is to have someone bugging me about them. I really want to be bugged about them.
Thank you!