"Whoever keeps his mouth and his tongue keeps himself out of trouble." Proverbs 21:23
"There is one whose rash words are like sword thrusts, but the tongue of the wise brings healing." Proverbs 12: 18.
"Set a guard, O Lord, over my mouth; keep watch over the door of my lips!" Psalm 14:13
All these scripture passages say the same thing, if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all. How many of you had your mother or father tell you that at some point in your life. I know I had my parents tell me all the time. I tell my children the same. However what do you do when another adult doesn't follow the scripture or what their parents told them. How do you react? Do you "take the high road" as my dad always told me? Or do you lash back with a snip or a quip of your own. How many times do you "take the high" road before you wonder why you are still taking this road that obviously doesn't lead you where you want to go. Most people that know me well don't think I take the high road very often. That is the problem with being silent. No one knows when you've been hurt, offended or crushed by someones comments. Don't get me wrong, I believe taking the high road is the way to go. I encourage my children to do it, even if it crushes me inside because I know what the other person said to them was extremely hurtful or down right rude but I smile and say, "don't worry about it". What am I teaching my children. Am I teaching them not to stand up for themselves or am I teaching them a valuable lesson about life, that even though people can be hurtful, you will survive and thrive by being the nice one. At what point do you stand up and express your feelings to the person who crushed you. Would it even matter? Maybe that person believes he/she didn't do anything wrong and therefore has no reason to apologize. Am I overreacting? How do you call someone on something when you know down to the depths of your soul it won't matter or worse yet, you will cause them pain that can be avoided by taking the high road.
It's usually always good to take the high road, according to society, the Bible and decent folks everywhere. Just remember this, taking the high road will eventually get you where you want to be. With the one who will take care of you, protect you from pain and love you unconditionally.
(I just have to keep telling myself that to believe it right! )
Sunday, November 6, 2011
Wednesday, October 5, 2011
Motherhood as a vocation
Have you ever asked your child or someones child what they want to be when they grow up? Depending on their age and gender you could get anything from a superhero to batman to a princess to a doctor, teacher etc. Some little girls say mommies because they see their mommy playing dress up or play dough or painting. They don't "see" the laundry, dishes, sweeping, diapers etc.. If they did see and truly understand that, they wouldn't say they want to be a mommy. I love the innocence of children. They can only see the fun in all the jobs people have. Erik goes to Phil's work and doesn't see piles of papers that are a million different projects, or the schedule with all the boring meetings. He sees the key that locks the drawer or the hard hat that is 4x too big for him.
Lately I have had a number of people say to me that motherhood is a vocation. I always looked at the word of vocation as a job. Growing up I didn't think being a mom was a job. You don't leave the house (unless your are running an errand), you don't dress up, and most importantly you don't have a paycheck with $$ that is. I remember Phil asking me "are you sure you want to have a baby now, it's not all giggles and cooing" And of course not knowing ANYTHING, I said yes I do.
Don't get me wrong, I love being a mom. When I hear my kids giggle or chase each other or tell me they love me is the best feeling in the world. However it is a job! The difference between a job and a vocation is simply this: a vocation is something you are meant to do, a job is something that you do to pay the bills. A vocation has purpose on a much deeper level. At least that is how I see it.
Being a mother you are suppose to give yourself to your children completely, being a wife you are suppose to give yourself to your husband completely. Where does that leave you as a women?
I honestly believe I have the best life a person could ask for. I have a wonderful husband who is ALWAYS there for me without question. I have three healthy kids, We have an income that provides for us what we need and then some. However, I still struggle. Yeah yeah, everyone struggles, especially stay at home moms I'm told. Is that a reason or just an excuse for why I'm feeling the way I am and acting out to my children and husband. Granted this has been a tough year for my family (with my dad's stroke and all). Again is that a reason or an excuse. I feel like I'm rambling on so back to my point of motherhood as a vocation. I may not enjoy my daily tasks of my job but I know that I am very lucky with my vocation as a mother.
Here are some things that my children have done lately that brought joy to my heart:
Erik is reading level one books. Even books that we've never read to him before he is figuring them out on his own.
Sarah's expressions have been so entertaining lately it's hard to discipline her when she makes them (and she knows it)
Caleb is my baby and when he smiles at me, all my frustrations just melt away.
and now that, that's said I am going to return to the screaming and yelling of my children.. Haha, the joys of motherhood.
Lately I have had a number of people say to me that motherhood is a vocation. I always looked at the word of vocation as a job. Growing up I didn't think being a mom was a job. You don't leave the house (unless your are running an errand), you don't dress up, and most importantly you don't have a paycheck with $$ that is. I remember Phil asking me "are you sure you want to have a baby now, it's not all giggles and cooing" And of course not knowing ANYTHING, I said yes I do.
Don't get me wrong, I love being a mom. When I hear my kids giggle or chase each other or tell me they love me is the best feeling in the world. However it is a job! The difference between a job and a vocation is simply this: a vocation is something you are meant to do, a job is something that you do to pay the bills. A vocation has purpose on a much deeper level. At least that is how I see it.
Being a mother you are suppose to give yourself to your children completely, being a wife you are suppose to give yourself to your husband completely. Where does that leave you as a women?
I honestly believe I have the best life a person could ask for. I have a wonderful husband who is ALWAYS there for me without question. I have three healthy kids, We have an income that provides for us what we need and then some. However, I still struggle. Yeah yeah, everyone struggles, especially stay at home moms I'm told. Is that a reason or just an excuse for why I'm feeling the way I am and acting out to my children and husband. Granted this has been a tough year for my family (with my dad's stroke and all). Again is that a reason or an excuse. I feel like I'm rambling on so back to my point of motherhood as a vocation. I may not enjoy my daily tasks of my job but I know that I am very lucky with my vocation as a mother.
Here are some things that my children have done lately that brought joy to my heart:
Erik is reading level one books. Even books that we've never read to him before he is figuring them out on his own.
Sarah's expressions have been so entertaining lately it's hard to discipline her when she makes them (and she knows it)
Caleb is my baby and when he smiles at me, all my frustrations just melt away.
and now that, that's said I am going to return to the screaming and yelling of my children.. Haha, the joys of motherhood.
Thursday, June 9, 2011
ups and downs
My mom told me once, "when you're a mom, the days are long but the years are short". She told me this when my oldest was 2 and he was in the middle of "the terrible twos". Now five years later that little 2 year old is now 7 and has been joined by two more little ones. I look around and it appears that so many other peoples children are fun loving, happy go lucky, extra smart and love to play. I look at my children who are screaming, fighting and asking to watch yet another TV show on a day where the sun is shining and it's 75 degrees outside. I do remember being a TV kid but I also remember loving to go outside in the summer. I know in my head, everyones children act the same as mine. I just wonder how much of their negative attitude is their age, the time of year, or is it more related to my attitude. Lately I've been debbie downer. Everything I look at is ugly, broken or needing to be repaired including myself. I try to use logic to cheer me up and make me realize my life isn't so bad but then the emotions come rolling back in and I just want to give up and crawl back in bed. I can explain my actions away with a number of things, but that is just an excuse. How does one look at the glass as half full instead of half empty?
Sunday, May 8, 2011
4 month anniversary
Yesterday was the 4 months to the day that my dad had his stroke. In the beginning none of us knew how long they would be in Florida. I certainly didn't think it would be 4 months and yet they are still there and will be for months to come unless we raise money to bring them home. I've gone months without seeing my parents (probably not 4 but months nonetheless). It never occurred to me that 4 months was a long time without seeing ones parents. I talked to them on the phone, especially my dad. Maybe that is why it seems so weird. Yesterday was the first time I had a conversation with my dad where he could contribute back to the conversation. It was amazing. So many times in the past I just rolled my eyes when he talked because that is all he did, gab gab gab. "They" say you don't know what you had until it's gone. Hearing my dad say the words "I love you too" was the most amazing sounds I've ever heard. He had a hard time saying it when he was healthy, let alone after a major trauma to his brain.
All this being said, we as a family are trying to get him back to the Northwest so he can be with his family and friends. So far insurance won't pay to transfer him because he is in a perfectly good facility. I understand that from a business perspective. However he needs his family, his children, his grandchildren. If you would like to contribute to our fund to bring my parents back from Florida where they have been for 4 months. Please click on the paypal button to the left. With all my heart, thank you! Thank you for prayers, thank you for your time in reading this blog and thank you for your donation. You can also visit www.rickgehring.com to read the story of what happened.
All this being said, we as a family are trying to get him back to the Northwest so he can be with his family and friends. So far insurance won't pay to transfer him because he is in a perfectly good facility. I understand that from a business perspective. However he needs his family, his children, his grandchildren. If you would like to contribute to our fund to bring my parents back from Florida where they have been for 4 months. Please click on the paypal button to the left. With all my heart, thank you! Thank you for prayers, thank you for your time in reading this blog and thank you for your donation. You can also visit www.rickgehring.com to read the story of what happened.
Saturday, April 9, 2011
Spring brings life and projects.....
When you own a house there is always something to do. You never get bored. We knew this going into buying a house (7 years ago) because if we wanted to get anything bigger than a 1000 sq.ft. house, it would have to be a fixer-upper.Well as most of you know, we bought the ultimate fixer-upper. In the past 7 years we have re-done every floor, wall and ceiling in this house. You would think after 7 years of projects and living with a huge amount of sawdust and dirt IN my house, I would be done, ready to take a break from projects. However every Spring I get the itching to do another major project. I get all excited and start planning it in my head and think OK, let's do it. Unfortunately my husband is not on the same excited page I am. He is the smart one. He can see into the future of what the project will really entail and how much time and work because inevitably I will have to attend to the children while he finishes the latest project. Don't get me wrong, I've done my fair share of work on this fixer-upper. Most of that was done when I have one infant who sat in a swing all day. Now I have three children who all move and scream and fight and whine. They also play sibling rivalry is quite strong in this house.
Part of me does the comparing game. I look at what others have at their house or their yard and think why can't I do that? Why can't we have that? So I jump into planner mode. I'm a GREAT planner. I can plan any project down to every detail. It's the executing that slows me down and discourages me. I want it done RIGHT NOW!! I want to be Samatha on Bewitched and wiggle my nose and have it look perfect.
That is when my husband of 10+ years reins me in and brings me that reality check I need. I can plan all I want but I have to consider such things in my plans as weather (if it's an outside project), financing (yes, it always cost money, I can't seem to want anything that is free) and of course labor (i.e. my husband). I have to consider all those steps instead of skipping over them with the idea that all that will appear out of thin air and will work perfectly.
So as of now, I'm at a place where I have to slow down and be realistic. Thankfully God has given me the most patient husband on earth I believe.
Saturday, February 19, 2011
Change of life....
No I'm not going through what most people think of as "the change" but in the past couple weeks I have changed. Monday February 7th 8:30am my life changed. I got one those phone calls nobody wants to get. My parents were on vacation and my mom called with the news that my dad had a stroke. They were enjoying sunny south Florida and within moments of waking up and getting ready for the day, his whole life changed. Within a span of 10 minutes he was getting ready for the day to being transported to a trauma stroke center.
I'm not going to go through the whole story of what followed but suffice to say my dad is in ICU doing much better than he started 2 weeks ago.
How has this affected me? One would think I would come back and appreciate my family more and start exercising more and being less lazy, but unfortunately I am not there yet. What will it take for me. I saw my dad laying in the hospital bed hooked up to tubes and an ventilator.
So how have I changed, mentally. I remind myself every day that life is short and we need to appreciate what we have in each other. I am slowly getting to the point of eating better, exercising more and living life to the fullest. I am still me, I still get annoyed that the floor is dirty EVERYDAY. I still get frustrated with my kids and husband, however I find myself stopping and reminding myself that my parents would give anything to only have to deal with a dirty floor and whiny kids. I have the use of every part of my body fully.
My sister and I talked about how we are part of the sandwich generation. We are taking care of our small children and our parents. I remember my mom talking about that when she was in that position. Thankfully I have two other siblings to help with this task.
I'm learning to LIG it. LET IT GO! Let the crumbs sit there for a day, let the laundry sit in a basket needing to be folded for a day or two or five in order to spend time playing with legos or coloring or sculpting with play dough.
Finding the balance between getting tasks done that need to be done (eventually) to spending quality time with family is the challenge I have now. I'm trying new approaches and we'll see how they pan out. I'll keep you posted on that! For now, its time to do one of those duel tasks, spending time with kids and doing a job, change a diaper!!
I'm not going to go through the whole story of what followed but suffice to say my dad is in ICU doing much better than he started 2 weeks ago.
How has this affected me? One would think I would come back and appreciate my family more and start exercising more and being less lazy, but unfortunately I am not there yet. What will it take for me. I saw my dad laying in the hospital bed hooked up to tubes and an ventilator.
So how have I changed, mentally. I remind myself every day that life is short and we need to appreciate what we have in each other. I am slowly getting to the point of eating better, exercising more and living life to the fullest. I am still me, I still get annoyed that the floor is dirty EVERYDAY. I still get frustrated with my kids and husband, however I find myself stopping and reminding myself that my parents would give anything to only have to deal with a dirty floor and whiny kids. I have the use of every part of my body fully.
My sister and I talked about how we are part of the sandwich generation. We are taking care of our small children and our parents. I remember my mom talking about that when she was in that position. Thankfully I have two other siblings to help with this task.
I'm learning to LIG it. LET IT GO! Let the crumbs sit there for a day, let the laundry sit in a basket needing to be folded for a day or two or five in order to spend time playing with legos or coloring or sculpting with play dough.
Finding the balance between getting tasks done that need to be done (eventually) to spending quality time with family is the challenge I have now. I'm trying new approaches and we'll see how they pan out. I'll keep you posted on that! For now, its time to do one of those duel tasks, spending time with kids and doing a job, change a diaper!!
Monday, January 17, 2011
Happy New Year~ Goals for 2011~
It occurred to me tonight while I was catching up on a friends blog that I haven't written on mine in awhile so here goes...
It's a new year and with that are so many changes. People have these grandiose plans to loose weight, clean and organize every nook and cranny in their house and make this year better than last year. Not that doing those are not lofty goals and good for you, but what happens by February 15th is people get depressed. They can't do it. They have failed. What makes us want to set these "resolutions" every year only to fail at them so soon.
This year I vow not to have any resolutions. I have ideas of what I want my year to look like and how I want my body to look, my house to look, my children to act. But no! No resolutions. I'm going to set small goals for myself and not worry about the other things that will get done later. I have 365 days to get those done.
Now that being said, I can focus on my real desire. To transform my mind. I was told once that in a job interview, they send someone out to your car to see what it looks like on the inside and outside. If you car is clean and picked up that shows something about you. If it's dirty and you have chicken nuggets left over from last month laying on the floor with a change of clothes wadded up in the back seat, that says something about you. Does that mean if you have a messy house, you have a messy head. A messy relationship with others, with yourself, with God. If you have an immaculate house and not a spec of dust or dirt to be found, you have a great relationship with others, yourself and God. I believe the opposite. If your house is messy, maybe that is because you are focusing on the relationships in your life and not on how well your house looks. Not that I don't want a clean house but if my house is clean and I have no one to share it with because I've spent too much time working on my house and not my relationships then I have nothing. If I'm too busy making sure the Christmas decorations are in a perfect row of bins with typed labels on them but have no relationship with my children, friends, or God I have nothing.
This will be the year of taking care of people, not things. Yes I do have to take care of things but not at the expense of people. The most important people are myself, my family and my friends in that order.
Goals for 2011:
1) Turn off the static in my brain and listen to what God wants me to do and where to go and who to be with!
2) Appreciate the people in my life who bring me joy, love and peace. Say good-bye to the people in my life who bring me down, make me cry and that I can't be myself with.
3) Bring new activities into my family life that we can enjoy together
4) Make my house peaceful, calm and happy
5) Be honest with friends in a loving way, give more than I receive and be there!
Even though there are only 5, I know they are biggies and I hope to reach them all. We'll reminisce in January 2012!
It's a new year and with that are so many changes. People have these grandiose plans to loose weight, clean and organize every nook and cranny in their house and make this year better than last year. Not that doing those are not lofty goals and good for you, but what happens by February 15th is people get depressed. They can't do it. They have failed. What makes us want to set these "resolutions" every year only to fail at them so soon.
This year I vow not to have any resolutions. I have ideas of what I want my year to look like and how I want my body to look, my house to look, my children to act. But no! No resolutions. I'm going to set small goals for myself and not worry about the other things that will get done later. I have 365 days to get those done.
Now that being said, I can focus on my real desire. To transform my mind. I was told once that in a job interview, they send someone out to your car to see what it looks like on the inside and outside. If you car is clean and picked up that shows something about you. If it's dirty and you have chicken nuggets left over from last month laying on the floor with a change of clothes wadded up in the back seat, that says something about you. Does that mean if you have a messy house, you have a messy head. A messy relationship with others, with yourself, with God. If you have an immaculate house and not a spec of dust or dirt to be found, you have a great relationship with others, yourself and God. I believe the opposite. If your house is messy, maybe that is because you are focusing on the relationships in your life and not on how well your house looks. Not that I don't want a clean house but if my house is clean and I have no one to share it with because I've spent too much time working on my house and not my relationships then I have nothing. If I'm too busy making sure the Christmas decorations are in a perfect row of bins with typed labels on them but have no relationship with my children, friends, or God I have nothing.
This will be the year of taking care of people, not things. Yes I do have to take care of things but not at the expense of people. The most important people are myself, my family and my friends in that order.
Goals for 2011:
1) Turn off the static in my brain and listen to what God wants me to do and where to go and who to be with!
2) Appreciate the people in my life who bring me joy, love and peace. Say good-bye to the people in my life who bring me down, make me cry and that I can't be myself with.
3) Bring new activities into my family life that we can enjoy together
4) Make my house peaceful, calm and happy
5) Be honest with friends in a loving way, give more than I receive and be there!
Even though there are only 5, I know they are biggies and I hope to reach them all. We'll reminisce in January 2012!
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