R-E-S-P-E-C-T (and lack there of)

When someone mentions something once, you may let it go in one ear and out the other. When a different person mentions the same issue, you think hmmm. When other people are having that same issue with someone completely different, you start to think maybe it's not JUST me.
In the past few weeks, I have had multiple conversations with people about varying levels of respect. Some call in following the rules, others call it bullying, and some call it just being unaware of the impact your words have on others. Whatever you choose to name it, it boils down to lack of respect. Whether you are a six year old on the playground making a bad choice of friends, making a joke that really truly hurt the other person or laughing and giggling while someone is giving a heart wrenching story, you are showing a lack of respect to the others around you.
It got me thinking about myself and how I often show disrespect to the people around me, to their face or worse, behind their back. As women (for some odd reason) we seemed to turn 13 in junior high and just STAY there. We grew chronologically but not emotionally. When we are threatened we revert back to that junior high girl that is a nit picking gossip queen bee attitude that says I'm better than so and so, I make better choices. When in reality you are making the same bad choices just in different ways.
Now my question is, how do we stop the cycle in our own family... have all boys.That isn't the answer. Is it to show our children (boy or girl) how to respect the people around them. We need to do more than tell them, we need to SHOW them, by doing that same gesture ourselves.
The big question then is, how do we do that. Did our parents have the same problem and were unaware of how to solve it or were they unaware at the whole notion of this. I doubt it. My parents (I believe) taught me how to respect others, yet I've fallen into the same trap that we all do. Viewing ourselves as better than others, or expecting others to take care of us. We are adults, we feed our children, we keep our houses and somewhere in all that, we manage to have a life outside that with other women. Yet we don't value any of that. How can you value you something you take advantage of and talk bad about.
Don't get me wrong, I know there is a time and place for venting and there should be, but come on.. (as my sister the counselor of elementary kids would say) can we just please LIG-it! LET IT GO! I tell my kids all the time to move on and not dwell on it. So WHY CAN'T I DO IT!!!
Are my small children more capable of LIG-ing it then I am. Why is that? I have more experience and therefor have more knowledge or is it because I've been burned and they haven't (at least not in their memory). Our children don't see what we see, they don't feel what we feel. They instead see and feel and innocent, pleasing Godly world. So let's take a page from our children's handbook and LIG-it! (I most definitely will need help with this though)

Seasons change

In talking with my sister last night, she brought up a topic that really made me think. We have different seasons in our lives and each season brings new challenges and new joys. As children we worried about the bug crawling across the floor or our sister leaving us out of her game. As young adults (collage age) we worried about a test grade or why we didn't get invited to the party. As adults we worry about finances and our children becoming who we want them to become. Time is also an issue as we go through the seasons of life. As a child, it seems like there isn't enough time because we have to take naps and go to bed early. As young adults we don't have enough time to study and have fun, as adults we don't have enough time because of a number of things, our children being the biggest.
It got me thinking that we need to take time in each season to take care of ourselves and cherish ourselves so we can enjoy the season we are in. My mom told me once "the days are long but the years are short". She was referring to child rearing. As a mother of young children I wake up in the morning with my mind racing already of what needs to be done. I go go go all day even if I don't leave the house. At the end of the day my mind is racing still so I don't sleep. (Hence, me writing on my blog at 11:15pm). I used to wonder if anyone reads this besides my sister in law because she tells me she does. I guess i still wonder who reads it but really what I want to know is what you think about what I write.

I had a friend tell me recently that I was high strung. First of all, she is right. I am high strung. I fully admit it. I also know deep down in my heart, she meant nothing harmful by it at all. However it got me thinking what kind of person do others perceive me to be. No one ever tells you that your annoying or obnoxious for obvious reasons. Now I'm not saying that I think I'm either one but do you ever wonder what people really think of you? Do you care? In our society, women often care about this and men don't (at least that is what they tell me).

Back to my point...
Seasons.... Now that the seasons are changing into Fall, which i am thrilled about, I think I will re-evaluate the season I'm in. My child raising years. My mom told me once that not to worry about the dishwasher or the floor or the toilet but just to play with my kids. i am really going to try to do that more. I want my kids to have memories of their first season of life to be joyful and not challenging. I want to be what God wants me to be.... a good women, a good mother, a good wife, a good friend, a good person.

Summer Vacation

Growing up, we dreamed of summer vacation. "School's out for summer" we would shout around the halls of the school. Now, most parents dread summer vacation. 24/7 kids at home while they are at work. My parents were just as excited if not more for summer vacation. They were teachers. I was a little worried about summer vacation. I had grown accustomed to only have 2 little ones at home. My two quiet, calm little ones. Joining the group was big brother Erik. Full of energy, full of vinegar, full of wildness. Phil's answer was to "kick him outside". That would have been great except it rained for the first 2 weeks of summer vacation. VERY un-walla walla weather. Now it's been almost a month of summer vacation and we are getting sunshine (finally) and I have re-accumulated to having 3 at home full time. We have actually been quite busy. I took the 3 kids to Sandpoint for the 1st week so Phil could do some much needed overtime. It was nice but 3 kids in the car by myself wasn't so nice. Actually only one (Sarah) was the problem. I don't think I will be traveling with kids (without help) for awhile again. Sarah has never been a good traveler and I don't know why I thought she would start now. Caleb on the other had, did fantastic. Slept the entire way!
We have also done VBS! Vacation Bible school was fun, exhausting and worthwhile for all involved. Sarah & Caleb were doted on in the nursery, Erik was taught about his faith and played games with the 1st graders and I helped teach the 3rd-5th graders. I learned about some things about my faith that I didn't know. Amazing how God works!
Now I look toward the rest of summer and am excited. So many more adventures with the kids and family as a whole!
I will try to stay more updated with my posts. I figured most reading this blog know what is going on in my life anyway due to being family, friends and facebook! Ha ha, the 3 F's in my life!

Out numbered

Ok, it's been 1 month since Caleb Robert joined our family. I can't believe it's already been a month. Where did the time go? I was lucky enough to have my parents here for two weeks helping with Sarah and Erik and letting me get sleep. Now, 4 weeks after our little boy joined us, we are on our own and getting no sleep. Caleb doesn't sleep during the night and the others don't sleep during the day so that leaves me with no time for naps, not that I want to take them because then I can't seem to fall asleep at night for the short bursts that Caleb does sleep. I have discovered I can't eat dairy, at least I think that is what it is. I hope after a few more days he will start to get better. It hasn't even been a week and it could take as long as a month to get out of my system. Well duty calls. This was short and sweet but because of dairy (hopefully that is the reason) Caleb is yet again calling me.

all in DUE time.....

They say being patient is a virtue. I don't know who "They" are, but they are right, it's a virtue. A virtue I don't have. Anyone who knows me, knows I'm not patient. I don't like surprises, I can't keep a secret (about myself that is) and I don't like waiting. When I want something done, I want it done NOW! In the grand scheme of things, 9 months is not a very long time to wait for a baby. I mean come on, 9 months to go from a tiny little egg and sperm to a full fledged human being. That is a miracle, an amazing transformation. It's not until the end when we start getting impatient, at least I do. I haven't even reached my due date (3 days left) and I'm already obsessing on when I will go into labor. I've done this twice before and yet am a little worried about the birth. I am not worried that something will go wrong or that the baby will have special needs, I am worried about myself. Can I birth a baby? Will I stay relaxed? Seriously, what is wrong with me, I've done this TWICE without any medication. What am I worried about. Maybe it's knowing what's coming. Maybe not knowing is better than knowing. With this pregnancy, it's been a world wind. Being busy with two other kids (one in school and the other in diapers still) has kept me preoccupied so I haven't had to think about it. There were times I forgot I was pregnant until I looked in the mirror. I remember when I was pregnant with Sarah, I was freaked. I thought how am I going to handle two kids. Now I'm freaked about three kids. I was able to handle two kids just fine and will be able to handle three. Why am I freaked out. As I write this, I realize I'm all over the board with my thoughts. It's called being 9 months pregnant. My body isn't my own, why should my mind be my own. I get annoyed that people only see a pregnant women in front of them. "how are you doing? Are you ready? What do the kids think?" Is that all people think about when they see me? They don't think about Natalie, they think about pregnant mom. I know they are being supportive and encouraging and I do the same thing to my pregnant friends. I should enjoy it and treasure it instead of being repulsed by it and wanting to crawl into a cave until I go into labor. Part of me wants to hunker down for the week and wait it out by myself. I won't have those questions in my head constantly but then again, maybe I will but I will be the one asking them not my sweet hearted friends but my own brain is asking "how are you doing? are you ready? are the kids ready? is the house ready? is my body ready? Maybe it's better to be around other people so I have something else to think about besides what is about to come OUT of my body. I treasure my baby and I thank God He has given me another child to love, care for and nurture into an adult who could possibly change the world for the better. I'm just scared for that responsibility. I suppose God knows what he is doing. Thank you for taking the time to read my scatterbrained thoughts and if you are reading this, I appreciate you as a friend and do welcome the question "how are you doing?" I know it only means you care!

Appreciation

I listened to a friend vent today and then read her blog about the same vent and it made me think, Amen Sister!! She was referring to respect. In the last few days especially, we've been struggling with Erik and his respecting his parents choices. The words "You are being so mean" have come out of his precious mouth a lot lately. At first, it made my heart strings tug and want to curl up in a corner and cry and hold him telling him, momma will make it better. Then after the 45th time of his saying this is less than a week (not really but it sure seems like it) I got upset, not at him but myself. How could I have raised such a disrespectful child. Am I doing something wrong? Am I forgetting to address a problem? Do I not see what he really needs? Now a lot of changes are going on in our house, well actually just one big change. A whole other person is about to join us, for life. I realized tonight that I've been naive in expecting no change in behavior with Erik with a new baby on the horizon. I've been so concerned with how Sarah will be affected that I didn't stop to think about Erik. Sure he's been through this before but he's older, he knows more, he understands more. He truly understands that he will be the one who has to pick up the slack when I need something picked up, put away or Sarah played with. In all of my needing and expecting him to respect me, I need to turn the tables and respect him.
Right now that is difficult to do being 9 months pregnant and a husband working 12+ hour days this week. Which brings me to my title of tonight's post, appreciation. I appreciate my husband, kids and friends but mostly I appreciate the single parents out there. To not have the support both mentally and physically is unimaginable to me. I know we deal with what we have and work with it to the best of our ability but WOW, I am not one of those people who could do this on my own and I know a lot of single parents have some kind of support but it's usually not full time and it always comes at a cost whereas a husband or wife doesn't come strings attached (usually)!
For whoever reads this, I leave you with this thought appreciate your husband/ wife, kids, friends and anyone in your life who has a positive attitude despite their struggles.