As with most days of being a mom, today has been a bag full of mixed emotions and attitudes both from my children and myself. The day seemed to start off good but within a matter of hours, the mommy monster came out. Who knows what causes this personality to emerge, maybe lack of sleep, maybe all the traveling we've done, maybe I just don't know how to handle my emotions. Considering that multiple times a day, I tell Erik not to throw a fit, to relax, to calm down, to take a deep breathe..... do I take my own advice... no! And just as fast as the mommy monster came out, she left. Of course it took the funny comment from a 5 year old (not that he was trying to be funny). I had missed the turn to the swimming lessons and was irritated yet again (hence mommy monster still present) and Erik calming says while looking at his new com pas he got at Subway, "hey we are going East". Needless to say I could only laugh. He didn't care that I had missed the turn, he didn't care if we were late, he didn't care if the person in front of me was going slow, he only cared that we were going East (which we were)! Mommy monster gone and Gentle mother back in the drivers seat (literally).
The rest of the day was very relaxing and uncomplicated because the mommy monster was gone only to reappear sometime in the future unfortunately.
I started reading a book tonight called "Life on Planet Mom" it's from the mothers group I belong to, MOPS. MOPS books for me have been hit and miss. I've read 2 others, one a hit and one a miss so I thought I'll give this one a try. Within 15 minutes of starting it I felt the need to go snuggle with my children (yes they are both asleep). As I watched them squirm in my arms trying to get comfortable ( I know it's not as comfortable as their bed) I realized how much my life has changed in the last 5 years. First of all, I can't BELIEVE I have a 5 year old. It seemed like last week Phil and I were staring at Erik laying in our bed for the first time at 2 days old and now he is five! My baby girl is walking, talking and playing by herself instead of needing me every 2 seconds. (Yes, she still needs me every 5 seconds but still).
I wonder what I will be feeling when they are grown and having children of their own. Logically I know it will happen but I just can't imagine Erik making adult decisions. Heck I have a hard time that I am making them.
For all you mothers out there, I know you've all heard something similar to this one but we all need to memorize it and live it... your children are only small for a breathe, take in each one as deeply as you can and treasure it forever!
so true, so true! i'm finding that i'm hyper-aware at how fleeting childhood is when i look at rhett. he's been my teacher for slowing down and enjoying the moments. i'm a lousy student but he's so patient.
ReplyDeletethanks for writing about mommy monster. she resides in our house too. i keep trying to evict her but she keeps showing up at unexpected moments.